Wheel of Consent®

by Betty Martin


Most frequent questions and answers about
The Wheel of Consent®

The Wheel of Consent®  (also referred to as ‘the Wheel’ or the ‘WOC’) is a model of consent based on, but not requiring, exchanges of touch. The Wheel notes the distinction between the ‘doing’ aspect of the touch dynamic — who is doing — and the ‘gift’ aspect — who it is for. The focus is on the process of choosing, not the action itself.

Once the distinction between those two aspects is made, the entire touch dynamic becomes clearer, which brings ease, sensuality, confidence, self-responsibility and freedom to the interaction.

The Wheel of Consent® grew out of two questions, in which two people take turns asking each other How do you want to touch me? and How do you want me to touch you? …for 3 minutes. The 3 Minute Game was born.

In these two questions are 4 different dynamics which create the 4 quadrants of the wheel — serving/accepting & allowing/taking. It is these two questions and the response that create the circle of consent, or the agreement.

Download the Wheel of Consent® Diagram in the following languages: BG, CS, DA, DE, EN, ES, FI, FR, HE, HU, NL, PT, RO, RU, SV, ZH.

The ”3 Minute Game” was invented by Harry Faddis and refined by Betty Martin who used it as a foundation to develop The Wheel of Consent®.

Two questions are asked: (1) How do you want to touch me? and (2) How do you want me to touch you? …for 3 minutes.

You can download the printable 3 Minute Game instruction booklet (PDF) in various languages (BG, CS, DE, EN, ES, FR, NL).

VIDEO: How to Play the 3 Minute Game:

VIDEO: The 3 Minute Game – How it Started and How to Play it. Betty Martin in conversation with Harry Faddis (Easton Mountain, New York, USA 2015): 

The School of Consent is the official training organization promoting the values and skills of the Wheel of Consent®, as developed by Betty Martin. It provides training and educational materials for the public and professionals, offering tools to support empowerment, safety, and connection.

» School of Consent Website

Betty Martin is very generous with sharing her wisdom. The diagram and dozens of videos are her free gift to us all. However, the dynamics around The Wheel are more complex that they might seem. If you are keen to share it and teach it, please follow her requirements:

» Sharing the Wheel of Consent® 

My Wheel of Consent® Workshops

Official WHEEL OF CONSENT® Workshop


Prague, May 16−17, 2020

— Canceled due to Corona —

Consent & Desire

Introduction to the Wheel of Consent® (3hrs)

Wheel of Consent®

Official 2½ day Workshop

My Personal Wheel of Consent® Story

I was introduced to the »Wheel of Consent®« in 2016 at an introduction by Betty Martin in Prague and it has kept fascinating me ever since.

Individual Coaching Sessions

The Wheel of Consent® model has become one of the pillars of my individual client work. This concept of relating, communication and interaction supports individuals to find their voice, freedom of choice and self-empowerment on a somatic (body) level. How to access feelings and sensations, and how safety and genuine choice feels in the body, are common themes in my sessions. Read what my clients say about their experience.

Articles, Podcasts & Radio

In my blog post »To Wheel or Not To Wheel—that is the question!« I describe five personal observations about The Wheel. In the podcast episode »What is sex for you?« (German) I discuss my Consent & Desire workshop and explain how I include the Wheel of Consent® in my individual session work. In her weekly radio show »Intimbereich« (engl.: Private Parts), WDR/1LIVE radio journalist Catrin Altzschner has made a radio episode about a coaching session with me.

My Wheel of Consent Related Training

I took the »Like a Pro — The Wheel of Consent® for Professionals« training with Betty Martin in Antwerp (Belgium) in 2018. One year later, I hosted the »Like a Pro« in Prague (Czech Republic) and interpreted an Introduction to the Wheel of Consent® into Czech language. In 2019, I had the opportunity to teach some of the core tools of the Wheel of Consent® at the Australian Institute of Somatic Sexology.

I supported a six-week online Wheel of Consent® workshop by two US-American teachers in 2021, and assisted at a 2½ day in-person Wheel of Consent® Workshop in Lausanne (Switzerland) in 2022.

I am about to be certified as a »Wheel of Consent® Workshop Facilitator« with the School of Consent.

My Own Workshops

In early 2020 I have launched the introductory Wheel of Consent® workshop »Consent & Desire«. Despite COVID related challenges, it was offered 15 times with over 130 participants in 5 different locations in German and Czech. Read what participants say about the workshop.

In January 2023 I will be offering my first 2½-day Wheel of Consent® Workshop following the official curriculum of Betty Martin’s School of Consent. Interested? Registration opens soon — contact me to be notified.

Blog Posts about
The Wheel of Consent

Ondra Veltruský


Wie möchte ich eigentlich beim Sex berührt werden, und weiß ich das überhaupt?
1LIVE-Radiomoderatorin Catrin Altzschner erlebt eine Coaching Session bei mir und berichtet darüber in ihrer Sendung „Intimbereich“.

Read More »
Ondra Veltruský

Was ist Sex für dich?

Was ist Sex für dich?
Ein Podcast mit Johanna und Corinna von „Stacheldraht im Schlüpfer“ über meine Arbeit als Somatischer Coach, das Wheel of Consent®, Sexpositivität und vieles mehr.

Read More »
wheel of consent
Ondra Veltruský

Das 3-Minuten-Spiel

Das 3-Minuten-Spiel diente Dr. Betty Martin als Grundlage für die Entwicklung ihres berühmten Wheel of Consent®  (Konsens-Rad). Anbei die Spiel-Anleitung als Fließtext.

Read More »

The Wheel of Consent®
in the Press & Media


@ English

📰 The New York Times · These Educators and Activists Can Help You Navigate Intimacy Now (Dec. 15, 2020) Also published in the Chicago Tribune.

📰 The Guardian · Tears, honesty and flirty games: how we escaped our married sex rut (May 19, 2019)

📰 Stuff.co.nz · Consent: why it is so complicated (March 16, 2019)

@ German

📰 taz.de · Zu Besuch in einem Kurs zu Konsens: Du und ich. Ja oder nein (May 29,  2019 )

📰 DiePresse.com · Sex und Übergriffe an Thailänder Yogaschule (September 16, 2018 )


» More media: Reviews, interviews, podcasts, articles(Wheel of Consent Book Website)


…with the Wheel of Consent Community:

Find School of Consent Official Site: schoolofconsent.org
Find Betty Martin’s Official Site: bettymartin.org
Find School of Consent® on Facebook: facebook.com/schoolofconsent

Find School of Consent® on Instagram:
Find School of Consent on Youtube: youtube.com/channel/UCo5fiaI5h1IVMpcPGuHRdiw

Wheel of Consent® Public Facebook Group international (English):

Wheel of Consent® in Youth Education Private Facebook Group

Wheel of Consent Public Facebook Group in Czech:

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.