Wheel of Consent®

by Betty Martin


Most frequent questions and answers about
The Wheel of Consent®

The Wheel of Consent®  (also referred to as ‘the Wheel’ or the ‘WOC’) is a model of consent based on, but not requiring, exchanges of touch. The Wheel notes the distinction between the ‘doing’ aspect of the touch dynamic — who is doing — and the ‘gift’ aspect — who it is for. The focus is on the process of choosing, not the action itself.

Once the distinction between those two aspects is made, the entire touch dynamic becomes clearer, which brings ease, sensuality, confidence, self-responsibility and freedom to the interaction.

The Wheel of Consent® grew out of two questions, in which two people take turns asking each other How do you want to touch me? and How do you want me to touch you? …for 3 minutes. The 3 Minute Game was born.

In these two questions are 4 different dynamics which create the 4 quadrants of the wheel — serving/accepting & allowing/taking. It is these two questions and the response that create the circle of consent, or the agreement.

Download the Wheel of Consent® Diagram in the following languages: BG, CS, DA, DE, EN, ES, FI, FR, HE, HU, NL, PT, RO, RU, SV, ZH.

ondra.li WOC 01

ondra.li WOC 04The ”3 Minute Game” was invented by Harry Faddis and refined by Betty Martin who used it as a foundation to develop The Wheel of Consent®.

Two questions are asked: (1) How do you want to touch me? and (2) How do you want me to touch you? …for 3 minutes.

You can download the printable 3 Minute Game instruction booklet (PDF) in various languages (BG, CS, DE, EN, ES, FR, NL).

VIDEO: How to Play the 3 Minute Game:

VIDEO: The 3 Minute Game – How it Started and How to Play it. Betty Martin in conversation with Harry Faddis (Easton Mountain, New York, USA 2015): 

ondra.li woc 06The School of Consent is the official training organization promoting the values and skills of the Wheel of Consent®, as developed by Betty Martin. It provides training and educational materials for the public and professionals, offering tools to support empowerment, safety, and connection.

» School of Consent Website

Betty Martin is very generous with sharing her wisdom. The diagram and dozens of videos are her free gift to us all. However, the dynamics around The Wheel are more complex that they might seem. If you are keen to share it and teach it, please follow her requirements:

» Sharing the Wheel of Consent® 

My Wheel of Consent® Workshops

Official WHEEL OF CONSENT® Workshop

WOC Official Workshop — WOCP01c 05

Prague, May 16−17, 2020

— Canceled due to Corona —

Introduction to the
Wheel of Consent®

3 hrs

Sun, Jul 21, 2024 (12-3pm) · BERLIN · DE
Mon, Sep 23, 2024 (7-10pm) · COLOGNE · DE
Thu, Sep 26, 2024 (7-10pm) · BRUSSELS · EN new
Sun, Oct 13, 2024 (12-3pm) · BERLIN · DE
Fri, Oct. 25, 2024 (7-10pm) · HAMBURG · DE

Event Description
Register Now

Events are either in German DE or English EN.

Wheel of Consent® Seminar
2½ Days

Fri-Sun, July 5-7, 2024 · BERLIN · DE new

Event Description
Register Now

Event in German DE 

Free Online Info Evening
1 hr

Mon, Jul 15, 2024 (8-9pm) · DE
Tue, Sep 17, 2024 (8-9pm) · DE

Event Description
Register Now

Events either in German (DE) or English (EN).

All time references are in Central European Time (CET). Time Zone Converter.

Blog Posts about
The Wheel of Consent

ondra.li de 3 minute game cover
wheel of consent
Ondra Veltruský

🎲 The 3 Minute Game

The ”3 Minute Game” was invented by Harry Faddis and refined by Betty Martin who used it as a foundation to develop The Wheel of Consent®.

Read More »

The Wheel of Consent®
in the Press & Media


@ English

📰 The New York Times · These Educators and Activists Can Help You Navigate Intimacy Now (Dec. 15, 2020) Also published in the Chicago Tribune.

📰 The Guardian · Tears, honesty and flirty games: how we escaped our married sex rut (May 19, 2019)

📰 Stuff.co.nz · Consent: why it is so complicated (March 16, 2019)

@ German

📰 taz.de · Zu Besuch in einem Kurs zu Konsens: Du und ich. Ja oder nein (May 29,  2019 )

📰 DiePresse.com · Sex und Übergriffe an Thailänder Yogaschule (September 16, 2018 )

» More media: Reviews, interviews, podcasts, articles(Wheel of Consent Book Website)


…with the Wheel of Consent Community:

Find School of Consent Official Site: schoolofconsent.org
Find Betty Martin’s Official Site: bettymartin.org
Find School of Consent® on Facebook: facebook.com/schoolofconsent

Find School of Consent® on Instagram:
Find School of Consent on Youtube: youtube.com/channel/UCo5fiaI5h1IVMpcPGuHRdiw

Wheel of Consent® Public Facebook Group international (English):

Wheel of Consent® in Youth Education Private Facebook Group

Wheel of Consent Public Facebook Group in Czech:

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.