Kristine’s personal account of
a series of sessions
This is an unabridged version of Kristine’s sharing about a series of sessions. She is a student of Sexological Bodywork, her ability to describe the sessions and summerize her learnings are advanced. The text speaks for itself. The bold emphases were added by me with Kristine’s approval.
I am recalling the sessions I had with you with delight and thankfulness!
First day I entered your place with a great deal of stress and internal conflicts about this session. Your warm welcome and the long talk was helpful for me. Intentions was release and I asked for support (remainders and suggestions) for releasing through breath, sound and movement. How you gave me options of how to undress was a nice learning. Having a choice made me feel respected and safe and gave me an invitation to explore my own comfortability, curiosity, desire and repressions. In a bigger aspect to reflect on all the situations in life we undress or are undressed by others and how it can be done with respect and integrity. Important lesson for future work and for life in general.
First day my brain disturbed me, and I got in conflict with myself about if I should let myself get aroused or not? After verbalizing this, I decided that I would focus on giving myself permission to get aroused. Arousal came, and I focused on staying in my pleasure and genitals, just noticing the interruptions of the brain like shame, self-judgement and embarrassment and to let them go. Intention or not, breath and movement came and left as they wanted as did waves of pleasure. At first it was difficult asking for what I wanted but I advanced, and I learned that I first need to get out of my brain and be in my body to know what I want. As arousal was building, I felt delightful waves of pleasure through my body releasing different emotions and states as they were floating through me.
The second day I chose to be undressed by you. It was a sweet and nice experience. Felt like I was 14 again. The way you made me actively participate and choose how it I wanted the clothes to come off and how we would be positioned in relation to each other, made me feel I could be undressed with dignity, respect and safety. Second day my intentions was still release through breath, movement and sound. I also wanted to talk less than I did the day before and to get help breathing by you inviting me with your own breath. That worked really good for me.
It also helped me that you suggested I see you as my “servant”, telling you what to do. Telling me that maybe or I don’t know means NO and no please and thank you necessary.
I was in a totally trance erotic state during and after the session the second day. Amongst others, I experienced heat in the face, light tetany, cascading skin, electricity in my arms and thumbs, shaking legs, summing feeling in my genitals after and waking up in the night doing Orgasmic Yoga in my sleep. Letting myself go in waves of pleasure, orgasm and amrita* was a wonderful experience and a learning that my pleasure is my own and orgasm is healing. I wanted to scream more than I did.
Another learning from the second session was that the quality or quantity of pleasure does not really depend on the quality of the relation with the other person but comes from within and is mine to enjoy and to share.
During my second session I was quite aroused and aware that I was enjoying the touches of my anus and the perineum. As we started to talk about the intention for the third day, I was thinking of exploring some anal touch, but I really just wanted what I had the day before! I got so happy when you said, doing the same or experimenting new things are both good intentions. And they were.
I was in a trance erotic state and lost totally track of time and when you said it was 5 mins left I felt disappointed and my body was desperate. When I told you, it was so nice that you gave me an option to spend the last 5 mins how I wanted.
In this moment I got in contact with the pain of being in the state of great arousal and having the man finishing without taking care of me and without me being able to ask for that, and how I feel so open and vulnerable in that moment. I decided to calm down instead of rushing to finish. How you hold the space with a hand on my vulva and one on my chest as energy where flushing through me, full of emotions, after gloves and shivering. You held me beautiful until I could let you remove and savor for myself. The offer to help drying of the oil also made me feel held and put back together.
A lot of nice and important learning came and are still coming from the sessions with you. It has helped me in my own touch and approach starting to do bodywork on my own.
To many, and too few words to describe this experience!
With love, Kristine